If you are a babyloss mom, maybe you can relate. If you do these things and wonder if it's normal, it is. You are. You're not alone.
1. See our lives as very clearly divided into before and after our loss.
2. Keep a list, mental or written, of things people should and should not say to a babyloss mom.
4. Hesitate to congratulate someone making a pregnancy announcement, because we know too much.
5. With our own subsequent pregnancies, either announce immediately (to celebrate every moment no matter how long we have) or wait until we are practically ready to deliver before telling the world we are pregnant (so we don't have to deal with others' questions).
6. Know the route to take in Walmart that avoids the baby aisles.
8. Wear memorial jewelry to keep our babies with us.
9. Stare, for just a second, at that child in the grocery store who is probably the same age ours would have been if only.
10. Remember...on our due date, our anniversary of loss, our birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas, Easter, dinner time, bedtime, summer vacations, when school starts in the fall, on random Tuesdays...
12. Wonder how our lives would have been different if only.
13. Appreciate our living children so, so much. (Really, we don't need to be reminded to do this.)
14. Have a ready-made excuse for why we can't go to a baby shower.
15. Find ways to reach out to that acquaintance in our circle of friends who has just had a loss.
17. Think about Heaven more than average.
19. Notice the gap - in our family pictures, at our dinner table, in the car, everywhere.
20. Think about our baby in Heaven. Every. Single. Day.