Blog Archives

Welcome!

Come on in, friend! Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa, and let's chat! I'd love to share what God's been putting on my heart about the topics of family, femininity, and faith, and you do the same. If you want to go deeper, join my Facebook group for "This Side of Heaven", and be sure to subscribe to keep up with every new post (no spam, I promise!). I look forward to getting to know you and sharing the journey "this side of Heaven!"

Subscribe here!

The Christmas you never knew

12/23/2013

0 Comments

Seventeen years ago, I came to South Carolina to attend Columbia International University. On the surface, I came for a graduate degree in Teaching English as a Foreign Language, to better myself professionally. But my deeper reason was that CIU also would require me to take Bible classes, and I was desperately in search of a deeper walk with God.

One of my first classes was The Gospels: Life of Christ, taught by Dr. Hulbert, with whom I later had the privilege of traveling to Israel and walking "in the sandals" of Jesus and his disciples. My favorite part of the semester, though, was the beginning, when Dr. Hulbert showed us from the Scriptures some things about Christmas that I had never put all together, but which made it much more real to me. I share them now with you.

Jesus wasn't born December 25. I'm sure that's no news flash. The shepherds wouldn't have been watching their flocks in the fields in the coldest time of the year. Most Bible scholars agree that Jesus was born in late spring instead.
Jesus probably wasn't born the night they arrived in Bethlehem. The passage in Luke only states that "while they were there" Jesus was born. Most of the movies show a desperate Joseph leading the donkey with Mary already in labor, knocking on every inn in town, hoping for a place for Mary to give birth. It could have happened - but probably not.
Joseph and Mary weren't turned away by a selfish innkeeper. Bethlehem was a very "little town" and was not likely to have had an inn, especially with Jerusalem so nearby. Anyhow, the Greek word used there is kataluma, which is used later in Luke 22:11 to talk about the place where Jesus and his disciples shared his last Passover. It referred to a guest room, which many homes would have. Most likely, "there was no place for them in the kataluma" because Joseph's relatives (remember, his family was from Bethlehem), already had filled their guest room with other family members coming for the census.
Jesus probably wasn't born in a smelly, dirty stable. The Scriptures don't say they were in a stable, only that Jesus was laid in a manger. With the guest room full, Joseph and Mary were given a place to stay in the part of the home that would normally hold the animals (who were out in the fields because, remember, it was spring) - hence the availability of the manger. Joseph returned to Bethlehem because that is where his family was from, and Middle Eastern hospitality would never turn away a family member, especially one about to have a baby. The wonderful thing about being in that part of the home is that it was a place the shepherd felt welcome when they came seeking Jesus.
Joseph and Mary weren't alone when Jesus was born. They were probably with family (see above), and Mary would have been attended to by a midwife. Luke shares that the when they saw the baby, the shepherds told others about what the angels had told them. Some interpret this to mean that they went throughout the town of Bethlehem, but it also could refer to the ones who were there (their relatives) when Jesus was born.
The Magi (more than one but not necessarily three) did not come at the same time as the shepherds, who didn't see a star over the stable. Luke doesn't mention a star or Magi; they are introduced by Matthew, and King Herod's decision later to kill all the boys in Bethlehem age two and under indicates that Jesus was not a newborn when the Magi arrived. (Being a stickler about this, when we set up the nativity at home, we always put the Magi on the other side of the room - on their way, but not there yet.) The Scriptures don't say how many there were, only that there were three gifts, all of which likely were used to finance their flight to Egypt when Herod tried to find Jesus to kill Him.

Dr. Hulbert's class made me see Christmas, and all of Scripture, in a fresh way. I saw Mary and Joseph and the other characters in the Christmas story as the real people that they were, embedded in a real culture and real extended family. Jesus' coming to us at Christmas was not a fantasy, not a fairy tale that doesn't make sense. It was real. And His incarnation would usher in the age of truth and grace (John 1:17), making it possible for us to have peace with God and eternal life, both here on Earth and in Heaven. That is my focus in Christmas 2013. I hope it is yours, too.

0 Comments

Ten ways to "homeschool" without homeschooling

12/11/2013

1 Comment

I am still relatively new to the homeschooling journey, and I love it. I love being with my daughter, helping her learn, seeing her face light up with new ideas. Love it. But seeing how much we both love it, and hearing different news events this year, has gotten me thinking about what we would do if we couldn't home school.

What if it became illegal, as it is in some countries? What if our situation changed and I did not have the freedom to stay home? What if our children had needs that could not be met solely at home? What if anything else made homeschooling impossible for a season, or for the rest of their schooling years?

What would we do if we couldn't home school anymore? Let me share my thoughts with you, with the hope that this will encourage parents who would like to home school but can't, as well as parents who don't feel called to home school but want to be more involved with their children's educational journey. Remember, however you choose to have your child "educated", you are and always will be your child's most important teacher.

1. Develop an opinion about educational philosophies, methods, trends, Common Core standards, etc. Even though I taught in the public schools for fourteen years, before I began home schooling, I couldn't have very easily defined my "educational philosophy". There are some basic ones in the home schooling world (some great definitions can be found HERE) and there are many others in public and private schools. It can feel overwhelming, but knowing your bent, and what you believe the purpose of education is, will help you evaluate your child's school and programs to know what you agree with and where they may have gaps that you will want to address in other ways.

2. Know your child's strengths and weaknesses. One of the bonuses of home schooling is that you can teach in a way that addresses you child's individuality. You can still make sure that happens by understanding your child and helping his or her teacher do the same thing, and you can also choose activities at home that will build her strengths and help with her weaknesses

3. Be involved at your child's school. Volunteer, be in touch with his teachers, visit his classroom; know the curriculum; attend evening events for parents; understand what technology your child is using and why. Being involved will help you know what is going on and will put you in a good position to address concerns with teachers and the administration.

4. Help them with their homework. This is your time to "be the teacher". Don't feel constrained by the actual assignments, either. You can help your child go above and beyond with online activities and other ways to practice. If they are reading a novel, get a second copy and read it along with them. When you help them with homework, you will also have a clearer understanding of what they are being taught.

5. Teach them what they aren't learning at school. If you have an opinion about the educational philosophy that you favor, if you are involved at your child's school, and if you are familiar with what they are studying, then you will have a good idea of what they aren't learning, too. If there are gaps that you believe your child needs, especially in the area of Bible knowledge and the integration of faith with other subjects, find a way to teach that to your children outside of school, or whether on your own or through Released Time Bible Education. At home, some wonderful resources would include Grapevine Bible Studies, Bible Road Trip, and similar programs for the whole family.

6. Look for teachable moments in everyday life - cooking, at the grocery store, through service activities. Childhood is one extended time of learning and growing and that is not limited to the time they spend in school.

7. Read to your child. And don't just do it before they are able to read on their own. There are wonderful benefits to reading aloud to children of all ages. There is a great list of suggested titles for ages 5-12 on the Simple Homeschool website.

8. Guard your family time fiercely. One of my least favorite things about sending my children to "regular" school would be the loss of time together as a family. If your children are in school for seven or eight hours a day (including travel time), think very carefully about how to use the rest of the time. Do not schedule so many activities that you find yourselves exhausted by bed time or never being together as a family. If that means your child doesn't take dance or music lessons or participate in organized sports every season (or at all), so be it. You need to decide what is important to your family, but don't be afraid to go against the popular flow of having more extracurricular activities than you truly have time for as a family.

9. Find a group of like-minded parents and encourage each other. By "like-minded" I don't just mean friends with the same beliefs, but other parents with similar convictions about what they want their children learning. You may find this at church, through MOPS or moms groups, or through home school affinity groups.

10. Take advantage of summer vacations as time to home school as a family. After all, learning can and should be fun! If you are thinking about homeschooling, this is the perfect time to "try it out" in a limited way while you make sure your children's learning doesn't lapse during the "lazy" days of summer.

Does all of this take a lot of commitment and a lot of time? Absolutely. Quite honestly, that is one of many reasons we are homeschooling. We feel it is a much better use of our time and resources to teach our children at home rather than add on to a full day of learning outside the walls of our home. But if we had to, we would, as very little ranks up there in importance with the preparation of our children for adulthood and, most importantly, as mature followers of Christ in a world that increasingly goes its own way.

If you do not home school, what resources have you found to supplement what your children are learning at school? If you do home school, what aspects of your schooling would you want to make sure continued if you could no longer do it all at home? Join the discussion below!

Linking up on Mama Moments Monday!

1 Comment

Inadequate

12/9/2013

0 Comments

There have been many times in the past several months that I found myself in a situation where I felt completely inadequate - times when I have wanted to help someone dealing with a loss, but I had no idea what to say. I've been down this road three times myself in very different situations each time, and I've talked with dozens of other women who have shared their stories of loss. You would think I would have an arsenal of words and phrases that I could count on, something that would soothe the pain and move someone down the road to healing and wholeness again.

Nope.

In none of these situations did my words have the power to make things better. I did pray and I tried to choose my words so as not to inflict any additional pain, and I tried to offer the kind of comfort that comes from knowing you're not alone in this awful situation, but my friends were still hurting. And it left me feeling frustrated and helpless and angry and sad that I could not do more.

In the aftermath, though, I'm realizing that that's okay. The apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:5, "not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God,who made us adequate as servants of a new covenant....". That is comforting to me because it reminds me of three truths to focus on when I feel inadequate.

I feel inadequate because I am inadequate. I don't need to figure out how to give my friend what she needs because what she needs is not in me. I can only do what I am able and equipped to do - comfort, listen, hug, love - and that is good enough from my end. But it will not make them "better" and that's okay. I don't need to stress out about that because...
God is adequate for my friend. I do not have what my friend needs. But God does. The walk of grief is ultimately an intensely personal and spiritual one, and while I can help guide someone by sharing my own journey and what is "normal" and where to find helpful resources, each person needs to find their own way through it. And the healing that we are seeking ultimately comes only from God, who will minister to each one in a way that meets his or her deepest and most personal needs. That is the beauty of the walk of grace and faith. And it's why prayer is so vital a ministry in itself.
God is also adequate for me. In fact, the adequacy that is within me comes only from God and is anchored in the new covenant. And that new covenant is none other that the gospel of grace and faith in Jesus' finished work on the cross. I must be deeply connected to God through time spent in prayer and worship and the Word of God to minister to others. Otherwise, no matter how well-spoken I am, no matter how compassionate, I will be drawing from an empty well, unable to touch their deepest needs.

If you also feel inadequate to help someone who is hurting, this is what I am trying to remember to do. I am going to focus on what I can do without trying to be everything to her, without trying to "fix" her. I am going to do what I can to point her toward the One who is adequate to guide her through the journey of grief and loss. And I am going to immerse myself in God and His word, so that when I am in a situation where I am called on to minister to someone else, I have something to draw from, something that will ultimately bring about healing and wholeness for my friend and glory and praise for my Lord.