Dear church on Sanctity of Life Sunday

Dear church on Sanctity of Life Sunday,

Tomorrow, many congregations will have bulletin inserts or songs or sermons or announcements that extol the sanctity of life and, rightly so, condemn the practices in our world that destroy life indiscriminately, especially the practices of abortion and euthanasia. Many will be speaking out this next week as we observe the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, whether vocally or in writing or on social media forums. I agree with that and applaud it, for few things trouble me more than the loss of innocent life to abortion. But sometimes the rhetoric of this season can get in the way of compassion, and of the biblical command to weep with those who weep. So in our church services this week, and in our weekday words and actions, while we defend life, I desperately hope that we will keep these things in mind about abortion in particular.

Remember that every abortion has more than one victim. Ironically, many women who choose abortion feel caught, that they have no choice. Some are forced by parents to abort, or pressured heavily by a boyfriend.  Some who make a clear choice for this struggle with regret and guilt over it for years. Fathers may or may not be consulted, and may or may not have any say over the life of their child at all. Grandparents may not have been told until their grandchild had already been aborted. I also believe that those who do willingly participate in the act of abortion without any obvious regret or guilt will suffer over time from a seared conscience, what the Bible also calls a hardened heart, when one gets less and less sensitive to His leading - as is true with any ignored sin in our lives. In a congregation of any size, you will have members who have been personally touched by the tragedy of abortion. Remember that, and be gentle with your words, knowing that the hidden wounded are among you.

Remember that life is complicated. There are so many reasons that a woman may choose abortion over adoption or parenting. Fear. Selfishness. Pressure from others. Negative prenatal diagnosis. Confusion. Misinformation. Ignorance. Education. Other children. Finances. It is so easy to sum up abortion as being for one singular reason, but that is an oversimplification and can set us up to be ignored by those we want to reach the most because we don't seem to be listening anyway. Don't assume. Listen. Ask questions. Give the benefit of the doubt that choosing abortion is often an act of desperation and self-preservation, and that a woman in that situation needs our empathy and sympathy, not our judgment. And be prepared to share the hope that we have in Christ as you have the opportunity. I am not minimizing the horror of abortion, but encouraging sympathy and grace for those caught in its grip.

Remember that valuing the unborn extends beyond the issue of abortion. There are others among you, also with hidden wounds, whose babies have also died, but through miscarriage or stillbirth. Some of those parents have never told anyone about their loss, or have never truly grieved the death of their child, because of the mixed message that they have received about the value of their unborn son or daughter. Our society says that his or her value is determined by a parent's desire to have a baby, and if it wasn't really a baby, what are we grieving? Even the church can send a two-sided message - on the one hand defending the life of the unborn to the earliest days, while on the other hand silently ignoring the parents who have experienced a first trimester loss, or a chemical pregnancy, or mildly encouraging them to move on, because they can always try again. 

A truly integrated prolife perspective will extend that passion for preborn life to compassion for all of those in this world who are touched by the tragedy of either abortion or the unintentional death of a child in pregnancy. It may mean partnering with a crisis pregnancy center that offers post-abortive counseling, or one that also reaches out to dads, or starting a pregnancy loss support group in your church. In fact, if you would like to establish an outreach in your church for parents who have lost a child during pregnancy or early infancy, please contact me here or through Naomi's Circle.

Dear church, you can make a difference in the fight against abortion, and also in the struggle for the spiritual and emotional health of all those touched by the loss of life in the womb. The God who created that life demands it of us.

With great passion and compassion,
Kristi

P.S. Please feel free to post comments, but keep it civil. This is a sensitive topic and it is my digital living room. I will delete comments that could be painful to my readers. Thank you!