- My house is too messy.
- My meals are too bland.
- I'm too late too often.
- I'm too lax in disciplining my children.
- I procrastinate too much.
- I miss my babies in Heaven.
- My times with the Lord seem dry and flavorless.
I could go on, but it all comes down to feeling like I'm just not good enough at _______ or a good enough ____.
Fill in the blank.
Have you been there? Kicking yourself because you aren't a "good enough"...
- fill in the blank
That's a common way to think. Whether life is easy or hard, we tend to either be proud of how our efforts have paid off, or we try to figure out what we are doing wrong. It's all on us.
Or is it?
My husband's sermon this week was about Gideon, the Old Testament farmer turned warrior, called to deliver Israel from the Midianites in the time of the Judges. As he taught from the Scriptures on Sunday (Judges 6-7), I was struck by the lessons for my heart.
God sees what we don't. He addressed Gideon as a "mighty warrior" when he was still a farmer. He saw a king in the shepherd boy David. He saw a leader and evangelist in Peter the fisherman. He saw a deliverer in Moses, wanted for murder. And He sees something in me - and in you - that hasn't yet come to fruition.
What we see as "enough" God may see as "too much." And what we see as "not enough", God sees as something that can glorify Him. Gideon sent out a call for others to join his cause, and he ended up with a respectable-sized army of 32,000 men. Certainly big "enough" to take care of Midian. And yet, twice God instructed him to reduce the size of the army until they numbered only 300. Now they were small "enough" that their victory could only be attributed to God, and He alone would get the glory. Like Israel marching around Jericho. Like feeding thousands from a few loaves and fish. God delights in taking our weak "not enough" moments and using them to glorify Himself.
God is patient when we doubt. Gideon was full of doubts. He doubted his own qualifications, the importance of his family, the strength of his tribe, whether God was really speaking to him, whether God would really come through. I would have expected that God would at some point strike him blind or mute or something to remind him who was in charge! But He didn't. Instead, He let Gideon test him, he answered his questions, and He even gave him encouragement when he didn't ask for it. He understands our weakness and our doubts and gives us what we need to do what he has called us to do.
What did Gideon do that I can imitate? He obeyed. He believed. He worshiped. When all was said and done, he believed that God was enough to fill in the gaps, and he led the Israelites to victory.
Can I do that? Can you do that? Can we press on in spite of how inadequate we feel, in obedience and belief and worship, keeping our eyes on Him?
I think we can. Because God is the one leading us, who sees more in us than we know, whose idea of "enough" is so different from ours, who is patient when we doubt ourselves, and even when we doubt him.
And who gives us encouragement when we least expect it. For me it was last night, at the end of a long and exhausting day, as my husband and I met with an insurance adjuster who was checking our roof for hail damage. In the course of the conversation and the exchange of personal trivia, we learned his full name. Guess what his middle name was?
Yeah, sometimes God gets my attention in funny ways. Our amazing, loving God who is steadfastly preparing us for the task to which we are called, even if we don't feel like we are enough.
Because no, you aren't.
But He is.
In what way are you struggling to be "enough"? How can we encourage each other?
Linking up with Angie Ryg this week: