Welcome!
Come on in, friend! Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa, and let's chat! I'd love to share what God's been putting on my heart about the topics of family, femininity, and faith, and you do the same. If you want to go deeper, join my Facebook group for "This Side of Heaven", and be sure to subscribe to keep up with every new post (no spam, I promise!). I look forward to getting to know you and sharing the journey "this side of Heaven!"
Have you noticed that everyone has an opinion these days? I seem to encounter a lot of them in the circles I am in, where people talk about parenting, homeschooling, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, babywearing, Santa Claus.... Even in my specifically Christian circles, people have strong opinions about holidays, standards of modesty, styles of worship, and the interpretation of certain passages of Scripture.
7 Comments
When I was growing up, I LOVED the Chronicles of Narnia. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the story of four children who journey from our world through an old wardrobe into a magical world of talking animals and eternal winter and the great Lion Aslan, was my favorite, but I read all of the others as well, and grew especially fond of The Silver Chair. In The Silver Chair, two human children, Eustace and Jill, enter Narnia and are given the task of finding Narnia's Prince Rilian, who has been missing and enslaved for ten years. With the help of a Marshwiggle named Puddleglum, they do find him and release him from his chains, but before they can all leave his place of imprisonment, his captor returns, disguised as a beautiful lady. She engages them in conversation, lulling them into a dreamlike state with pulsating music, pleasant aromas, and clever questions designed to make them think that what they have always known as reality is, in fact, nothing more than fantasy, and that the only actual reality is the one she places in their minds. It takes gloomy Puddleglum to shock them back to their senses. He stomps out the fire that has been creating the aroma and the pain in his foot clears his head enough to declare, "Suppose we have only dreamed up, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a great deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow." Of course, Narnia is the real world, and the rest of the book shows how Puddleglum's speech exposes the evil one for what she truly was and how Prince Rilian returns to his rightful place in Narnia. I share that here and now, because I feel a bit like Puddleglum in our world today. All around us are voices and rhythms and things appealing to our senses that are trying to persuade us that the right values to have are, in fact, quite different than what used to be seen as right and true. Conversations that would have been seen as ludicrous even ten years ago are being taken quite seriously. People running for political office get into the kind of arguments that would land students in the principal's office, and yet they are still running. Callousness for human life is caught and exposed on video tape, and people argue that what is being seen and heard is, in fact, not what you think is being seen and heard. I imagine that some of you are feeling the same feeling of befuddlement as me. Have things really changed and we must go along with it? Can we still serve our families and raise our children as we believe we should? Are we in fact being foolish, or bigoted, or heartless, or even hateful by clinging to what others see as antiquated beliefs? Or is there such a thing as Truth? Yes, Truth, with a capital "T". In his haziness, Puddleglum was willing to to follow Aslan whether he was real or not, but the Bible doesn't actually leave that option open. In fact, the apostle Paul is very clear in 1 Corinthians 15 that if it is only for this life that we have hope, "we are of all people most to be pitied." But we need not worry because our foundation is solid. The evidence for that can be found in many places (begin here if you are in doubt), but as important as that is, my purpose here today is different - not to convince you of the truth but to remind you of it. As a woman who wants to follow Jesus, and wants to encourage other women who want to follow Jesus, let me take a moment and be Puddleglum for you, for all of us, and remind us all of some fundamental truths revealed in God's Word and throw political correctness to the wind. Because sometimes when the way is dark and confusing, we need a reminder of the Truth to cling to until we can find our footing again. So cling to these...
There. I know there are plenty who will look at this and want to argue chapter and verse or throw something scientific or political or sociological to argue that we shouldn't push my beliefs on others or whatnot. But this post is not for them. It is for my sisters in Christ who need to know that the foundations ARE still there, and that truth IS still true. When we feel like the foundations are being destroyed, we need not cower in fear, hide from the world, or try to resurrect an earlier time period when it was more comfortable to be a Christian. But we can - and must - speak truth to one another, to our children, to our husbands, and to our families. We can rest in the knowledge that God has outlasted every humanly attempt to manipulate and change His ways, and that in the end HE WINS. None of this surprises Him. It is hard enough to serve our families, raise our children, love and support our husbands, or to walk whatever path the Lord has for us whether that includes children or marriage or not. It is even harder when we start to doubt our compass and our guide. But God's Word is true in every generation, including the most wicked, and His ways are always good.
Know this, beloved daughter of the King. God is real, and God is forever, and His truth reigns, and His truth wins. Believe it, walk in it, live in it, share it in love, rest in it. And be a Puddleglum for others, unafraid to speak truth in the darkness and to stand with Christ. Because He is the ultimate reality that defines all others, even in today's crazy upside-down world. I was inspired to look into this by my friend Caroline, who shared a post from her blog about the "modesty rules" that can mess with our minds. Her conclusion, which I completely agree with, was, "Make no mistake, we must attempt to defend and proclaim all that the scriptures teach us concerning modesty, but we must also be oh so careful when we begin to advocate certain non scriptural standards as if they were the word of God." So that got me thinking...what DOES the Bible teach specifically about modesty? What I found out was both surprising and encouraging. Your body is not just yours.This is not an easy statement to make in this time and place. But the first thing the Bible says about our bodies is that we belong to Him and need to live in submission to him (1 Cor. 6:19-20; 1 Cor. 10:31; Rom. 12:1; Eph. 5:1-3; Eph. 2:10; Micah 6:8). He is our maker and, if we allow him, he is our Savior who bought us with his blood. What we do with and to our bodies and how we present them to the world is not just about how comfortable we are or whether we feel modest or not. It is all about bringing glory to God. The second thing the Bible says about our bodies is that if we are married, our bodies belong to our spouses (1 Cor. 7:3-5). Before anyone gets up in arms about that, it doesn't say that the husband owns his wife, period, and can do anything he wants to it. It says that the wife's body belongs to her husband AND that the husband's body belongs to the wife. It goes both ways, and the main point is about looking out for our spouse's best interest, not just our own. What I do with and to my body and how I present it to the world needs to honor my husband, and vice versa. Finally, how we live impacts others, including what I do with and to my body and how I present it to the world. I do not live in a vacuum and must consider how my choices set an example for other believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity (1 Tim. 4:12). There are some standards for women's attireYes, the Bible does have something to say about how women dress, but what it focuses on might surprise you. Respectable. There are verses that suggest that women should not dress like prostitutes (Pr. 7:10) and many verses that talk about how exposing one's "nakedness" is shameful and that some parts of our body are considered "unpresentable" and others are not (1 Cor. 12:53; Rev. 3:8; Is. 47:3). Yes, I understand that varies according to time and culture, which is an entirely different topic, but let's just conclude for now that "respectable" attire (1 Tim. 2:9-10) would generally cover more than it reveals, would not mimic how a prostitute would dress (whatever that is for the culture in which you live), and would not give even a hint of sexual immorality (Eph. 5:1-3). Feminine. Deuteronomy 22:5 says that men should not wear women's clothes, and women should not wear men's clothes. For the record, I don't think that means women can't wear pants or jeans. But I do think it means that how we dress should embrace who God made us to be. By how we dress and how we carry ourselves, men should embrace their masculinity, and women should embrace their femininity. Modest. There is that word again. But it is not just about how short a hemline is, because the other thing that the Bible addresses is our hairstyles and jewelry. Ouch. Both Paul and Peter speak against "braided hair" and costly attire and jewels (1 Tim. 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-4). To understand that, you need to understand a little about the first century. One online commentary points out, "The Greek word for modest is kosmioi, which means 'respectable, honorable, or modest'....This word basically entails all apparel that does not call undue attention to the wearer through show of flesh or through gaudiness." In the first century, some of the ways that women would try to attract attention to themselves were through elaborately braided hairstyles that would take hours to construct, through expensive clothing, and through gold jewelry. Paul and Peter both admonished their Christian sisters to focus on "dressing" themselves with good works more than on impressing others with their outward appearance. I do not think that means we should not ever braid our hair or wear a gold wedding band, but we should ask ourselves if we are dressing in a way that calls attention to ourselves, whether by revealing more than necessary or by being more elaborate than a situation requires. Actions can also be "modest" or "immodest."Scripture calls us as women to pay as much attention to our actions as to our attire. Some things that are commended for women "making a claim to godliness" are: good works (1 Tim. 2:9-10), discretion (Prov. 11:22), self-control (1 Thess. 4:2-10; Titus 2:3-5; Titus 2:11-12), reverence (Titus 2:3-5), working diligently at home (Titus 2:3-5) and being just and kind and humble (Micah 6:8). On the flip side, actions that would NOT be considered modest would be any kind of sexual immorality or even the hint thereof (1 Thess. 4:2-10; Titus 2:3-5; Ephesians 5:1-3), slandering others (Titus 2:3-5), and being enslaved to alcohol (Titus 2:3-5). And of course, all of these are appropriate expectations of men as well! Attitude trumps appearanceIt should be no surprise that God looks on the heart far more than the outward appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4; 1 Samuel 16:7; 2 Cor. 4:16; Matthew 23:27). That does not mean the outward appearance does not matter, but over and over, women are told to focus on their heart attitude: to have a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3-4), to fear the Lord (Proverbs 31), to have humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5-6; Mathew 6:1; Romans 14:13); to love and submit to their husbands; to love their children (Titus 2:3-5), and to be kind (Titus 2:3-5). Hemlines or the heart?So if the Bible talks way more about the heart and almost nothing about hemlines, does the latter even matter?
Well, yes. Because of all the stuff about our body not being ours to begin with. We are called to first of all honor the Lord in all we do and say, and clearly, how we dress is a part of that. Outwardly, that seems to mean not revealing too much flesh and not flaunting too much in the way of wealth or fashion. The specifics of that will vary from culture to culture because modesty is a biblical principle, not a set of rules. Something else to remember is that the Bible is the inspired word of God, but it was also written in the midst of a certain culture, and the fact that nothing is said about short shorts, for example, does not mean they would have been acceptable in the early church. It only means that such a "fashion" would never have crossed their minds and so didn't need to be addressed. So here are my take-aways as I buy clothes, dress myself, and train my daughter to be beautifully modest in today's world. Put God first. In everything - how we dress, how we act, how we speak, everything. Seek to please Him over myself and others. Do I fear the Lord about all else and show it by having a humble and loving attitude toward others? And regarding my attire, am I most concerned about dressing in a way that honors Him or am I trying to figure out what I can get away with without crossing the line and displeasing Him? Check my actions. I want my everyday actions and activities to be fitting for a woman who follows the Lord. Is my day filled with activities that are focused on others or myself? Ask myself questions. And please note that I am NOT saying how YOU should answer them! The exact standards for each of us will be different depending on our personalities, culture, and situation. But these seem to be good questions to ask based on the Biblical text.
Modesty is such a hot-button topic these days, because while the Bible gives guidelines, how it is fleshed out (excuse the pun!) today really is dependent on culture and circumstances. I would love to hear your responses and how you are living out this biblical principle in your life and with your children! |
Welcome!Welcome! My name is Kristi. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a teacher, a writer, a musician... but most of all a child and worshiper of God discovering that even in life's messes, God is still good. Learn more about me and my journey here!
Subscribe!
Subscribe to keep up with This Side of Heaven. As a special thank you for trusting me with your time online, I will send you my e-book, Dear mom of a baby in heaven, for free.
Popular postsClassical Christian PaideiaSupport This Side of Heaven by shopping with these companies!
Memoria PressCompass ClassroomLilla Rose!Homeschool Mom Fitness program!
Christian Book Distributors!
Archives
July 2023
|